It's lunchtime.
Or at least that's what Kanda thinks because there's a helping of soba before him. Well. It could be dinnertime, or hell, maybe it's breakfast time. It's hard to tell with Kanda, really. He never seems to eat anything other than soba. It wouldn't be surprising if he was actually made of soba because he ate so much of it. That's not the point of the story though. The Japanese swordsman picks up his chopstick and stares blandly at the food before him. While he may seem indifferent to it, inside he is singing with joy. It's the food that he hates the least. Kanda doesn't like anything, he only hates and does not hate. For example, he hates Allen Walker, also known as "moyashi," but he doesn't hate Lenalee. While we can question whether or not Kanda actually "really doesn't hate" Lenalee (or Lavi according to some of the...secret fangirls, or boys, hidden amongst The Black Order)-
"Can you get on with it already?" Kanda asks annoyed.
...I was!
"Idiot."
Anyway, Kanda raises his chopsticks to pick up some of the delicious food when another mysterious voice floats in from the ceiling.
"O seven apples on a witch's tree~"
The soba magically turns into a bowl of apples. Seven apples, to be exact. Kanda twitches. Whoever decided to transform his soba into something sweet would surely die by his hand. He would make sure of it.
"With seven seeds to plant inside of me~"
Kanda twitches once again. That voice... He knows that voice. But he can't seem to place who exactly is the owner of said voice. While Kanda does his best to figure it out, he doesn't notice the seven apples decompose, leaving a small pile of apple seeds. Kanda turns sharply down at the bowl, as if he could hear the narration telling him what's happening.
"I can hear you, you moron," he snaps rudely. In fact that rude face doesn't leave his face. It's kinda cute actually.
The comment successfully makes Kanda twitch. He's not used to being called cute... That's cute itself!
"Shut up!"
"In springtime I grew a magic song~"
Kanda focuses in on the voice. It's quite cheerful, there are few people who speak in such a tone... Though, well, this voice isn't really speaking, it's singing, but to Kanda it's all the same. Kanda figures that perhaps it's Komui making the- oh! There he is right now. Kanda looks back and spots the head of The Black Order skipping around, hand in hand with the chef, Jeryy. The sight in itself isn't all that odd to Kanda, after all, the both of them are idiots, but still, something about it doesn't feel right to the Japanese teenager... Not that there's anything he can do about it.
"Then skipping along, oh, I sang the song to everyone~"
Kanda notices that as the voice starts up again Komui's mouth isn't moving. Which leads him to believe that it's not him... Jeryy isn't saying anything either, so he's safe as well. The two skip closer to him and dance around in circles, humming in tune with music which has been playing from the beginning. I didn't say anything because Kanda didn't notice, and I wanted to see how long it would take him.
"I heard it," he remarks snidely. But of course he's lying, after all, I'm the omniscient narrating voice. He can't know anything without me knowing. Kanda twitches for some unknown reason but doesn't speak again since everyone knows what he's going to say.
"I looked at the world through apple eyes~"
...Well, since Kanda doesn't have apple red eyes or anything similar a pair of apples fell from the sky and hit him square on the head. Kanda growls and looks up only to be greeted with dark ceiling. No one he knows can stand on the ceiling or anything similar, so he can only think that it's some sort of strange phenomenon. But it's not like he needs any more of those in his life.
Right.
Jeryy's prancing around Kanda again, holding another plate of soba for the feminine man. Oh. Kanda's twitched again. That's very odd. Anyway, he takes the plate and moves to sit back down at the table. When did he get up again? Oh well. He's about to take another bite when the voice decides to intervene again.
"And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie~"
The soba nearly explodes and leaves what appears to be a lemon pie. Kanda twitches yet again, while it's not as sweet (or is it?) as the last... thing, it's still something he hates. He pushes the plate away with obvious disgust on his face. The mysterious voice, seemingly upset with this turn of events makes itself known again.
"I danced with the peanut butterflies~."
...Of course, Kanda's not dancing because that would be a total break in character, and we can't be having that. But there is something dancing around him again. This time it's a bunch of golems. He doesn't recognize any of them at all, but that's only because each and every one of them is covered completely in peanut butter... That can't be good for their circuitry.
"Obviously, idiot."
...It seems not even Kanda can lighten up in such a situation. What a stiff. Kanda scoffs, but doesn't insult the voice again. He can't insult the voice, you know why? Because the voice is the narrator and can decide to kill him off at any minute.
"..."
But if we did that then the fangirls would be sad, so Kanda lives... for now.
"Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye~"
Jeryy and Komui who are still prancing around the room do this exactly before they disappear again. Where exactly, no one knows. And Kanda, being Kanda, doesn't particularly want to know.
"A thousand sugar stars~"
Something small hits Kanda on the head and he reaches up to grab it. He pulls his hand back to his face and opens his fist. In his hand is an odd little blue... star like thing. Kanda has the feeling that this item is edible (since the ceiling liked to drop edible things), but his inner Kanda senses tell him that said item is sweet and therefore he will hate it. He tosses it aside, but that causes millions more to pelt Kanda from the heavens. He doesn't move though, and just endures the downfall until it ends. When it finally stops a jar (that isn't edible) drops before Kanda.
"Oh put them in a jar~" the voice commands.
"No."
"And then whistle round the world~ Oh whistle round the world~" As the voice sings a chorus of people starts whistling, much to Kanda's annoyance. However, all these people are carefully hidden from view which prevents Kanda from threatening. He listens closely, though, and he hears one whistle that's louder than the rest. He whirls around and finds the source of the sound.
You smile at him and wave, "I'm a little wolf inside a girl, you say~"
Kanda's not sure if he'd use the word "wolf" but he's not the one singing. Angrily, he makes his way towards you, which is quite hard since the sugar stars are still in the ground, and it's sort of as if he's walking through snow.
"And off I'll go from June to May~" you grin and spin on your heel, running deeper into the hall, whistling. "Oh whistling round the world~"
The scene suddenly changes and Kanda finds himself standing at the fork of some odd road he's never seen before. In front of him is Timcampy, flapping it's wings quietly. He watches the golem silently, the thing has never done anything to him, but he had an odd feeling about it now.
"I met a golden swan upon the road~"
Your voice reminds Kanda what he's doing and he glares down Timcampy as if doing that will reveal your location.
"I'm a handsome prince!" A voice comes from Tim, but it's not Tim's voice... Especially since Tim doesn't have a voice. Kanda twitches and he recognizes the voice as Lavi's voice. Why exactly Timcampy has Lavi's voice instead of Cross' or Allen's is beyond Kanda, but he doesn't really care... Too much.
"Who was a handsome prince, so I was told~" Kanda rolls his eyes. Obviously he is the handsome prince.
"What are you doing?" Kanda questions Tim... or maybe he's talking to Lavi's voice. Who knows? Tim/Lavi waits, as if they are waiting for you to dictate what they are to do next.
"I asked it the way to yesterday~"
"That's not yesterday!" Lavi laughs. "Silly, Yu!"
Kanda hisses and reaches down for Mugen. Whoever is pulling the strings here doesn't want him slicing Tim/Lavi and changes the scene again. This time Kanda's on some odd ship that he had no recollection of being on....That's probably because he was never on it in the first place.
"Then I was a sailor, and through the day I sailed away~"
...No doubt that being a sailor is the last occupation that Kanda wants to have and he objects to this by twitching violently. But you, the voice, or whatever ignores it. It's not like you care... Actually, you're having a lot of fun with this.
"Bluebird seas I sailed~"
...Kanda doesn't need to look and figures that if he goes to either side of the ship he will look down and see a bunch of bluebirds... Which is true. It's not all that logical, but you don't care and I don't care, this is all fiction, after all. But something out in the "ocean" catches Kanda's attention and he turns grudgingly.
"With mermaids riding whales~"
He spots Lenalee, dressed up in some odd mermaid type bathing suit clinging to a Komurin-esque whale creature. No doubt that it was built by the sister complex himself... Wherever he was.
"Oh whistle round the world~ Oh whistle round the world~"
It starts up again and Kanda wonders how long this will take. I'm beginning to wonder too... My fingers sort of hurt.... And I'm kinda tired.... But anyway. You tap Kanda on the shoulder and he turns around, glaring at you. But you only smile in response.
"I'm a little wolf inside a girl, you say~" you announce again and run away from Kanda again. "And off I'll go down Wonder Way~ Oh whistling round the world"
A sign appears randomly marked with the words "Wonder Way." Isn't that convenient? Kanda moves closer to the sign and a black hole appears underneath him. Kanda, unlike many others, doesn't make a sound as he drops into the abyss. It's all dark for a moment, and Kanda thinks that maybe he's sleeping comfortably in his bed where no one dares to bother him. His hopes are shatter though, when two more apples fly in from now where and hit him. He hisses and brandishes Mugen angrily, attempting to slice one of the apples in half. He fails, though because the apples seem to be floating as if there's no gravity... Actually Kanda's floating too, but that's not as important.
"Oh there are rose-colored skylines~"
There's a sudden flash and Kanda is met with bright red around him.... It seems he's floating in the sky at sunset... Or maybe it's dawn, he doesn't really know. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the moon, and figures it's twilight.... But then again you can see the moon in the early morning too. At least you can where I live.
"Where flying silver spoons~"
Kanda can't help but snort as something else flies slowly across the sky. It's mouth is moving up and down in a chomping motion and it's flying towards the moon.
"Eat melting marmalade moons~"
Kanda scoffs again. "You can't eat the moon, stupid moyashi."
Allen's head turns back and he bites back at Kanda, "Shut up, Kanda!"
Kanda snickers, but does what Allen says. He doesn't have anything else to say though, so it's okay. Another pair of apples fall from the sky this time landing and staying on Kanda's head. He shakes his head and they fall away, this time, the start falling towards the ground, gravity acting normally upon them again.
"Through apple eyes~"
Kanda watches as the two fruits fall to the ground and he notices everything else. He's way above the ground and everything looks really small... Sort of like Kanda's the king the world... But we do have to admit there would be some people who wouldn't be happy if he was king of the world... Some might be though. The Kanda fans, maybe.
"I see for millions of miles~" you appear before Kanda a third time and stare off towards the sun. "The sun's a diamond shining~ In the nighttime of a summer day~"
He half-glares at you for some reason and opens his mouth to say something to you, but you stop him with a mischievous smirk on your face, "A thousand sugar stars~ Oh put them in a jar~"
It starts raining sugar stars again, but it ends much quicker... And ends with a glass jar landing loudly on Kanda's head. He twitches and closes his mouth, "Idiot."
Your expression doesn't change at the insult. "And then whistle round the world~ Oh whistle round the world~"
The whistles start up again and distracts Kanda so that he doesn't notice- Darn, I said it. You float over towards him, and he watches you apprehensively. His expression makes your grin wider and you move up so that, for once, you're taller than he is. He knows what's coming now, it's rather predictable after all. You lean in and lightly brush your lips against his. The brief contact makes him freeze. Whether it's because he's in shock and wants more or because he's in shock and is appalled is something even I don't know, but for your sake we'll say it's the former. But brief contact is all that it is and you pull back almost instantly. "I'm a little wolf inside a girl, you say~"
You place your hands on Kanda's chest and push him away, but the action sends you floating backwards as well. "And off I'll go (I can not stay)~"
Kanda stares as you disappear and a bright light engulfs you. Suddenly, he hears laughing and opens his eyes. He fell asleep at the table, it seems. Kanda groggily turns to his left where Lavi is laughing, his eyes sparkling.
"Morning, Yu~" he mocks between laughs.
Kanda glares at him and turns in the other direction where you're glaring playfully at Lavi. "I didn't get to finish. I was almost done with the song... Lavi you idiot!"
Kanda merely shakes his head and wonders why he associates himself with such people. The boy rises from his seat and stalks off towards his room, but something stops him. A distinct sound stops him.
The sound of a pair of idiots whistling.
Let's whistle round the world
end
