"The Universal Language" by littleduck

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All chapters will have song lyrics in is a band fic after all. Bands used will be the Arctic Monkeys and Sum 41...yeah...maybe not Sum 41. I may have to find another band. We'll see.

Alright then! Let's get this show on the road! First of all...the band. The songs used will always be the chapter names.

[insert band name here]...I know it but you will find out later. XD

Tidus - Lead voals/guitar
Sora - Guitar/vocals
Riku - Bass
Roxas - Drums

Song Lyrics


Summat - something

'owt - anything

Righty-o! That's all you need to know for this chapter!

Disclaimer for the whole story because I never remember: I do not own Kingdom Hearts of Arctic Monkeys' songs. Steal this plot idea and I may be tempted to beat you with a stick, because that is the only thing I own. XD
“Whoa. Hey, hey, hey…check it out!” Tidus said, darting from his seat to stand at the very entrance of the garage, nimbly avoiding the web of wires that branched off in every direction on the floor. “Moving van…wonder who is coming in, yeah?” The other three boys in the garage made their way to where Tidus was standing, watching the van in the driveway of the house beside them curiously.

“Huh…at least they’re moving in now,” Riku said quietly. “That place has had the ‘SOLD’ sign on it for months and some people were thinking about burning it down even though people had already paid for it.”

“I wonder what they’re like?” Sora asked curiously, his fingers dancing over the silent strings of his guitar as he watched the van pull in.

“Whatever…I wonder if there’s any teens moving in?” Tidus asked eyes glued to the blue van that was pulling in beside the moving van.

“We all know you’re just wondering if there’s any teenage girls around our age moving in,” Roxas said dryly, twirling his drumsticks in his hand.

“Didn’t we come here to rehearse?” Riku asked, looking extremely bored. He had better things to do than watch a moving van…

“Shut up,” Tidus shot at him. “And besides Roxas…that’s wrong. I’m actually wondering if there are any HOT teenage girls around our age moving in. That one little word completely changes what I’m looking for.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re a sex-a-holic,” Riku muttered and Sora laughed.

“I told you to shut it ‘Sex God’,” Tidus answered, referring to the nickname the girls of Destiny High had given the silver haired aqua-eyed boy. “Eh…fogey old dad, middle-aged mum…guy…what looks like a twelve year old girl and…oh yeah…that’s what I was looking for.” All three boys rolled their eyes at Tidus’ comments but, nevertheless, looked.

“She’s pretty,” Sora breathed, bright blue eyes glued to the girl who had just stepped from the van.

“Yeah…” Roxas agreed, unconsciously running a hand through his messy blond spikes. Riku didn’t say anything at all but just watched, finally deigning the small group with a comment.

“She’s got a boyfriend,” he pointed out completely unnecessarily, seeing just at that moment she had leaned up to give the black haired, silver-eyed boy who was with her a small kiss on the cheek.

“Well gents…I do believe I’ve just found my next girlfriend and I’ll just have to prove to her that I’m that much better than that sleaze ball,” Tidus said smugly. “What do you say we attract fair maiden’s attention with some music?” Without waiting for a reply, the tanned, blue-eyed, blond haired Blitzball played leapt back to his microphone and turned on the amps, eagerly dragging everything closer to the entrance so ‘fair maiden’ could see them if she glanced over. He snatched his guitar from its stand, fingers already dancing across the strings in anticipation.

Sora, Roxas, and Riku reluctantly joined their lead singer, said lead singer now oozing sex appeal as he tried to catch ‘fair maiden’s’ eye.

“What song?” Riku asked, and Tidus paused, tapping his lips for a moment.

“How about…‘When the Sun Goes Down’?” He finally said. “We can sing our hearts away about what a scumbag blackie is.” Riku rolled his eyes, Sora laughed nervously, and Roxas snorted, tapping his drumsticks in the air to set the tempo.


“Thanks for helping me carry my stuff Hiroshi!”

You had finally reached Destiny Islands after months of planning your trip, traveling, packing, and enrolling into a brand new school. Giving Hiroshi a quick kiss on the cheek, you broke away and turned to the moving truck your parents had rented, grabbing a box from its depths. You turned to walk up the driveway when the gentle strumming of a guitar caught your attention. Glancing at the house beside the one your parents now owned, you caught sight of the four boys at the entrance of the garage.

The lead singer gave you a wink and smiled before opening his mouth to sing…and you nearly burst out laughing when you heard the lyrics.

Who’s that girl there? I wonder what went wrong so that she had to roam the streets. She don’t do major credit cards I doubt she does receipts. It’s all not quite legitimate…

“What’s going on?” Hiroshi asked, standing beside you, a similar box in his arms.

And what a scummy man…” Hiroshi flushed as Tidus continued to sing, oblivious or ignoring the angry red flush creeping up Hiroshi’s neck. “Just give him half a chance I bet he’ll rob you if he can. Can see it in his eyes, yeah that he’s got a driving ban amongst some other offences…” You giggled and sighed, walking up to the front door and depositing the box in the front hall, Hiroshi close behind as the two of you walked back down to get another box.

And I’ve seen him with girls of the night and he told Roxanne to put on her red light. We’re all infected but he’ll be alright cause he’s a scumbag, don’t you know…” You laughed loudly, and Tidus smiled at you, Hiroshi’s hands tightening into fists. Perhaps to provoke the already irritated male, or simply because it was in the lyrics (we shall never know) Tidus sang, “I said he’s a scumbag, don’t you know!” Immediately afterward, the rest of the boys joined in, the steady drumbeats intertwining with the sudden chords played by the guitars and bass.

Still chuckling, you grabbed another box and delivered it to the front door, Hiroshi deliberately turning his face and ignoring the band as you went for a third box. Tidus chuckled internally. Poor sucker didn’t know he was making the song even funnier…

Although you’re trying not to listen…avert your eyes and staring at the ground.” You turned and looked back at them, Tidus winking at you, and Sora smiling widely at you, Roxas and Riku concentrating on their instruments. You gave them a brilliant smile, a blush flushing Sora’s face and Tidus’ smirk growing bigger. “She makes a subtle proposition… “Sorry love I’ll have to turn you down”.

Hiroshi’s head whipped up, his silver eyes cold and calculating as you rolled your eyes at his reaction, bending to get another box. The hem of your shirt slid up, revealing a black winged heart on your lower back. Tidus resisted the urge to wolf whistle, and instead locked eyes with the angry male before him.

I know he must be up to summat. What are the chances sure it’s more than likely. I’ve got a feeling in my stomach…I start to wonder what his story might be what his story might be…

“They’re just trying to be neighbourly,” you said teasingly, and gently nudged Hiroshi. “He even said he wants to know your story…”

They said it changes when the sun goes down! They said it changes when the sun goes down! They said it changes when the sun goes down around here! Around here…

Next Tidus pretend that he was looking down the street. You and Hiroshi turned to look down the street, but there was nobody there.

Look here comes a Ford Mondeo… Isn’t he Mister Inconspicuous? And he don’t even have to say ‘owt…she’s in the stance ready to get picked up,” Tidus sang, his eyes unashamedly tracing up and down your body. Hiroshi frowned. You tried not to smile.

Bet she’s delighted when she sees him pulling in and giving her the eye, because she must be fucking freezing scantily clad beneath the clear night sky she doesn’t stop in the winter, no. They said it changes when the sun goes down! Yeah, they said it changes when the sun goes down! They said it changes when the sun goes down around here…

“What are they even singing about?” Hiroshi grumbled angrily and you leaned in, trying to keep your voice and face completely serious…and failing miserably.

“Well Hiroshi dear,” you whispered, “I think they’re insinuating that you pick up prostitutes.”


They said it changes when the sun goes down! Over the river going out of town. They said it changes when the sun goes down around here…around here…” Tidus looked at Hiroshi once more, laughter etched all over his face. “What a scummy man…just give him half a chance I bet he’ll rob you if he can. Can see it in his eyes yeah that he’s got a nasty plan…” He turned to look at you, a mock serious expression on his face… “I hope you’re not involved at all…

Once the song was finished, Hiroshi darted forward and grabbed Tidus by his white t-shirt collar, his voice roiling with anger.

“What’s up with that, jackass?” Hiroshi growled and you laughed, ambling over.

“Hey come on Ro-chan,” you said, a smile on your face. “They don’t mean any harm…”

“The hell they don’t!” ‘Ro-chan’ yelled, drawing back his fist to smash Tidus’ teeth out but you grabbed the extended fist and forced it down to his side with a stern,

“Stop it. You’re taking it way too far!”

“Yeah well I don’t think dad would mind if I beat this guy up as a warning to any other guys out here who are even thinking about putting the moves on you to cop a feel or get a one night stand! I mean, check out that guy back there! He’s probably just waiting to put the moves on you,” Hiroshi shot back angrily, jerking his head over at Riku who snorted and ignored him completely.

“You do it and mum kills you,” you warned. Hiroshi turned a furious gaze back at you before whipping back to face Tidus, his knuckles white. After another tense minute, Hiroshi let out a “Feh” and reluctantly let go of Tidus’ shirt, muttering death threats under his breath as Tidus gaped at the two of you.

“Wait a minute…you…you’re siblings? He’s your BROTHER?” he managed to squeak out and you nodded, tilting your head to one side.

“Yeah. Of course he is!” Tidus turned to look accusingly at Riku who shrugged and raised his hands in front of him in a defensive gesture.

“Hey man, you’re the one who believed me,” he said, smirking. Tidus whipped back around to look at Hiroshi, who was still positively furious.

“Man…I am so sorry…I thought you were her boyfriend…” the lead singer said, apologizing profusely, but Hiroshi’s eyes had lit up after the first part and he grinned, holding up a hand to stem Tidus’ ramblings.

“So…you only did that cause you thought I was her boyfriend?” Hiroshi asked curiously, and Tidus nodded rapidly, hoping that Hiroshi would change his mind about beating his face in. “Oh I get it…you were just being protective of her…yeah… The neighbourhood bad then?” Tidus looked quizzically at Hiroshi.

“Wha–? ”

“Yeah that’s cool,” Hiroshi finally said, giving Tidus a friendly punch on the shoulder. “I can deal if little (Name) here gets a surrogate brother to watch over her when I’m not around… Yeah. You’re one smart guy…uh…”

“Tidus,” Tidus squawked, disbelief painted on his face.

“Yeah…Tidus. Well…I’m Hiroshi and you better not get any romantic ideas towards (Name) in the future,” Hiroshi said, smiling, his teeth gleaming in the sun. “Mum doesn’t like incest.”

And that is how on the day that the hottest girl Tidus had ever set eyes on moved here, he was appointed her surrogate brother and therefore was no longer able to start a romantic relationship with her.


“Oh you’re kidding me!” Tidus cried, flopping down into a deck chair and taking a long, frustrated drink from his ice-cold pop. “The day I see my future wife–”

“I thought she was going to be your girlfriend?” Roxas asked, and Tidus glared at him.

“ANYWAY. The day I see my future WIFE is the day her insane older brother decides that I’m going to be part of the family…and not the way I wanted to be. This sucks,” he muttered mutinously. “Why does my life suck so bad? I mean honestly…I was the one who saw her first after all! None of you guys would even ever have noticed her if not for me so therefore, I should be going with her! Not some other guy who doesn’t truly appreciate her…” Suddenly Tidus’ face slowly brightened as he sat up a little bit straighter. “Hey…now there’s an idea! I’ve got a plan.”

“Oh great,” Riku muttered. Considering the past experiences with Tidus and one of his plans, it never ended up well.

“Is this going to be like that time you convinced us that the man two doors down was an alien and then when we went to spy on him he found us, thought we were terrorists and threw us in jail because it turned out that he was a part of the secret police?” Sora asked anxiously, but Tidus ignored him.

“So I figured since I can’t have her…one of you guys will just have to get her, you know? It’s perfect. If it all works out, I can still be her ‘brother’, not have Hiroshi kill me, and see her in a bathing suit all at the same time,” Tidus crowed. Roxas arched an eyebrow at him and threw his empty pop can at Tidus’ head.

“And which one of ‘us guys’ were you planning on using for her boyfriend? If we went through with your crazy plan — which we won’t — it wouldn’t work out to well if all three of us started trying to hit on her,” Roxas said, trying to reason with him. “And supposing you chose the wrong guy, then there’d just be an awkward kind of air between that guy, and (Name), and Hiroshi.”

“So basically…you’re saying you won’t do it,” Tidus said slowly, looking at Roxas to make sure he was right. Roxas nodded.

“There’s no way I’d do that just so you could see her in a bathing suit,” the blond agreed and Tidus sighed, turning to his remaining friends.


“Wh-what?” the brunet asked, before his eyes widened comically as he frantically waved his hands in front of him. “N-no! No way am I going to do that! I’d mess it up…I know I would!”

“What? Don’t you like her?” Tidus drawled teasingly, and Sora’s face turned beet red as his movements grew more panicked.

“No! I do! It’s just that I have a feeling I’d mess it up – AUGH!” Due to our little brownie trying his best to tell Tidus that there was no freaking way he was going to try and get you as his girlfriend, while simultaneously trying to back up, his chair promptly tipped backwards, his head hitting the garage floor with a painful thud.

“Yeah…” Tidus said, eyeing Sora skeptically. “I have a feeling you’d mess it up too. Well then! That just leaves our resident ‘Sex God’, doesn’t it Riku?”

“No. Her brother already thinks I’m going to try and get a one night stand with her and honestly, I don’t want bad blood between my new next door neighbours and my family,” Riku said immediately, and Tidus immediately began to plead while attempting, and failing, to look innocent.

“Aw, come on.”




“Won’t you even consider–”

“NO. I’m not going to get into a relationship with (Name) just because you want me to,” the silver haired boy said, his tone indicating that this conversation was OVER.

…Too bad Tidus was never good at noticing things like that.

“Well, well, well! What’s this? Already on first name terms with her are you?” he said, and when Riku opened his mouth to retort, Tidus quickly cut him off with a hasty, “It was a rhetorical question. Look…all I’m saying is just…you know…try and get to know her a little, show her around, and at the end of summer…invite her for a swim at the beach…and make sure to invite me,” Tidus said, a cattish grin on his face.

“And look…all I’M saying is that no…I’m not going to do it for your gratification,” Riku said sternly and in the few minutes of silence afterwards, Riku truly believed that the matter was dropped until…

“What, so you’d do it for your own gratification?”

A/N: Review? :3

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