You’re ecstatic, purely ecstatic. You don’t really know why you are, but you simply are. Got that? Good…Okay, okay, so maybe I should tell you more than just that. Otherwise this story wouldn’t really make sense at all.
You have just moved to Central, the place where random oddities appear at just the most peculiar times. You happen to like random oddities. They make everything more random…and odd! Now, what was it I was trying to explain? Oh right! You are ecstatic; because it’s nearing Halloween and you have half a mind to drag a certain chibi, shrimp, bean, pipsqueak, shorty, small fry, etc. trick or treating.
“EEEDDDD, MY SHORT LITTLE MAN!” you yell in a singsong voice, as you skip over to him.
“WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE’D BE FULL EATING LESS THAN ONE GRAIN OF RICE?” Ed exclaims, being as temperamental as he usually is.
“Hm, I should write that down for later,” you state, a finger to your chin.
Ed stands there fuming and grumbling. “How the hell do I know you anyway?”
“Wellll, it all started when we were in Aquroya. Who knows what you were doing there, but I was living there in my nice little home when some weird things started to happen and my home pretty much died. Remember now?” you explain to him, a little too happy for someone who just lost a home.
“Ed? ED?” You look around frantically trying to find your short little friend.
“Uh, I’m right here?” Ed speaks up.
“Oh, you were so short I looked right over you,” you say a bright smile on your face.
“I AM NOT SHORT!” Ed practically screams in your ear.
You stand there unaffected by his loud outburst. “Edo’s in denial, Edo’s in The Nile!” you sing, twirling insanely around Ed.
“Silly Ed, you should drink your milk!” you tell him, patting his head lightly.
“I AM NOT DRINKING SOME KIND OF WHITE LIQUID THAT COMES FROM A COW!” Ed yells at you.
“But Eddd, won’t you do it for me?” you ask, giving him the eyes.
“Not for you,” Ed says firmly. He then begins to walk away.
“Hey! That’s not nice!” you exclaim, running after him. He’s not hard to catch up to; after all, your legs are longer than his.
“You know, if you want to get away from me, you have to be bigger than that,” you inform him, twirling your hair in your hand.
Ed is silent and obviously annoyed. At least he’s not yelling, right? Suddenly, a really large, wet and scaly blue thing falls from the sky, and guess what? It hits our favorite little dude right in the face. “Slookiegoo!” You exclaim excitedly.
Al, who has been silent and sweatdropping for quite a while now, shyly speaks, “What’s a slookiegoo?”
“Not a what, silly! Slookiegoo is my pet fish from Aquroya who was thrown into the sky when the crazy man who tried to make a Philosopher’s Stone out of sticks and a flamethrower blew it up!” you chirp, successfully scaring a few passerbys.
Ed has now regained is composure and has gotten the fish off himself. “How the hell is this thing still alive?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know many things,” you state in a mysterious voice.
“Hm, I wonder if he tastes good,” you wonder to yourself.
“You’re going to eat him?” Al asks nervously.
“Of course not! I love him!” you tell Al, not believing that he’d be cruel enough to think you’d do a thing.
“Then why did you ask that?” Al says, confusion and innocence in his voice.
“Well, he was blown up. He must be cooked someplace,” you explain to the armor.
“Right,” Al replies.
You then blink. “Where’s Ed and why am I now holding Slookiegoo?”
This time, Ed really is nowhere to be found, so you start to freak out. “Please, please just be too short I can’t see you! EDD!?”
You are now teary-eyed. “My Edo-kun is gone! GONE!”
“Um…he’s over there,” Al speaks up, pointing at a nearby house.
You tilt your head curiously and rush over to the house. “Ed, my love! Where art thou now?”
“Ed! You’ve found yourself a girlfriend! Now you can grow up and marry and be like my lovely Gracia, Elicia, and I!” a voice pops up behind you.
“Gah! Who are you and–Awwe! She’s so adorable!” You are now face-to-face with a picture of a cute, young girl.
“I know! Isn’t she? My darling Elicia’s the most adorable person in the world!” the man gushed.
You nod excitedly and introduce yourself. “I’m Maes Hughes, Lieutenant Colonel and father of this beautiful girl!” he tells you.
“So you’re Ed’s girlfriend! You two are just so cute together!” Hughes exclaims, pushing you over to Ed.
“I kn–Wait a minute! I’m not his girlfriend!” you yell, after finally noticing what he’s getting at.
Ed is being ignored and is quite mad and annoyed by now. He decides that since the two of you are so busy talking, he’ll sneak away with Al and head over the Central HQ. You won’t be letting him do that though. He will never, ever get out of your sight ever again. EVER!
“Where’d Ed go?” you ask Hughes after an hour of rambling on about Slookiegoo and Elicia.
“He’s probably down at Central Headquarters. You said something about your fish hitting Ed. Where is it anyway?” Hughes asks you, making you look around.
“Noooo! I’ve lost both Edo-kun and Slookiegoo! Oh the horror!” you cry out dramatically. Slookiegoo chose that exact time to fall from the sky and right into your arms.
“I can see what you mean by flying fish!” Hughes exclaims after seeing the amazing “drop out of the sky” fish.
“Mmhm!” you reply.
“So, why are you in Central?” Hughes asks you.
You then get into your explanation of dying houses and idiotic guys with sticks and a flamethrower. When you finish, you are reminded of something.
“I need to buy a house!” you yell out suddenly.
“So you’re going to live here? Somewhere near this house I hope! You’ll get to see my darling Elicia everyday! Isn’t that wonderful?” Hughes excitedly exclaims.
“Wheee! I need a house, a beautiful house, a house so beautiful it’s unimaginable!” You start to sing.
“It must be on this street! It’ll be so wonderful! You’ll get to stop by my house everyday!” Hughes also sings.
“I’m just wondering, when did this become, a musical fanfiction!”
“I don’t know, what you mean by fanfiction! We’re on the streets of Central! The place where Colonel Mustang liiives!” Maes replies.
“We should stop. The military peoples are all staring,” you tell him.
“Awwe, alright then,” Hughes sighed.
“Short, pipsqueak, smaller than a nail, where did you gooooooo?” You yell.
You spot red, gold, and silver sprinting around a corner. Waving to Hughes, you run after him. When you spot him head inside, you can’t follow, for it is forbidden for outsiders to enter headquarters.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ed asks you.
“Huh?” You look around and notice you’re in your new house in Central.
“Say, do you know where I can find sticks and a flamethrower?”
“Why?” Ed asks you.
“I want to go trick-or-treating as some random idiot with sticks and a flamethrower!” You exclaim, excited.
“Maybe she doesn’t remember…” Al voices.
“Trick-or-treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!” You sing.
The lady gives you a handful of delightful Halloween treats. Halloween, awesome for all the candy it brings into your possession.
“Muhahahahahahaha!” You exclaim.
Ed comes up behind you. “Why am I a vampire again?”
“Because you wanted to be, silly,” You tell him.
“I did not!”
“Yes, you did! And short vampires are hot anyway.”
“WHO ARE YOU CALLING–wait, what did you say?” Ed questions.
“Nothing!” You yell, already many feet away from him.
“Get back here!”
“NEVER! I WILL NEVER LET YOU SUCK MY BLOOD!”
BlackMystique: Well, that was fun. Hope ya’ll enjoyed. It’s a Halloween fic, and half of DG’s birthday present. Ya’ll won’t know the other part though, sadly. Have fun, and watch out for chibi vampires!